Do you ever get to a point where you feel like you’re just going through the motions? What once felt urgent and important suddenly just feels like meaningless activity?
When I was a boy in grade school, I’d fake being sick a few times a year so I didn’t have to go to school. Years later, my mother told me she knew I was faking it. She said, “It was OK because I knew you needed a day off.”
Back in November 2015, I established a new blogging / daily inspiration schedule for my three main websites. Up until the end of last month, I was committed and regular. During this same period, I was journaling almost every day. I was disciplined, productive, and strictly adhering to a schedule.
Over the past six weeks I took a break from that schedule and discipline. I started to feel like I was faking it … or forcing it. I needed a break to recalculate my direction. My internal GPS was stuck on “Recalculating Route”. I kept hearing Siri repeat recalculating, recalculating, recalculating?
A couple of interesting things happened this time that were different:
- I became instantly aware of my need to recalculate.
- I choose not to fight my feelings. Instead, I honored them.
- I gave myself permission to deviate from the schedule and routine that I had faithfully been adhering.
In the past I’d have admonished myself. Felt guilt. Tried to fake it. Gotten myself sick.
This time I gave myself permission – and time – to recalculate.
I started to write this post a week ago. I still wasn’t ready. I put it down. Forgave myself. Recalculating, recalculating, recalculating?
2016 is now half over. I’m recalculating. How about you?
(acknowledgement and thank you to Karen Jacobsen)