“It was a bullet, wasn’t it?” asked the man seated on the bench next to Forrest Gump as Forrest recalled the circumstances of Bubba being killed in Vietnam.
Forrest questioned the man, “A bullet?”
The man clarified, “That jumped up and bit you.”
Forrest’s reply, “Oh yes, sir. Bit me directly in the buttocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the Army must keep that money, ’cause I still ain’t seen a nickel of that million dollars. The only good thing about being wounded in the buttocks … is the ice cream.”
In that simple dialogue, Forrest shows us that accepting without complaint is much more productive (and healthier) than either accepting while complaining or the worst case … complaining and not accepting.
Here are 5 lessons we can learn from Forrest getting bit in the buttocks:
1. Acceptance
To paraphrase the bumper sticker, ‘It Happens!’ Forrest was struck in the hindquarters by enemy gunfire. He was wounded. It happened.
By accepting being wounded as an event that occurred, it was simply a story. It did not define who Forrest was. It did not make Forrest a wounded Vietnam Vet (e.g., Lt. Dan). It was simply an event that occurred. Forrest accepted it and moved on with his life.
Do you move on after stuff happens? … or do you like to wear stuff like a badge of honor?
2. Live Life in the Moment
By being 100% fully present, Forrest is able to put things in their proper perspective. All of us have led lives rich with past events and occurrences. By living fully in the moment you can focus on the here and now. Forrest was able to focus on the people he meets, the story he’s telling, the job he’s doing, or the activity in which he’s engaged … 100%!
Forrest was so focused on telling his story to the man that he didn’t even recognize what the man was talking about when initially questioned, “It was a bullet, wasn’t it?”
Forrest’s past was interesting, but it was not a burden.
Is your past a steamer trunk full of burdens? … or simply interesting?
3. Language (and word choice) Sets the Agenda
Contrast “something bit me” to “I was shot in the butt.”
Which version allows you to take on the role of victimhood? Which version conveys what happened in an interesting and engaging way?
The language and words you use go a long way to crafting the image that you want others to get from your stories.
Does your language regularly cast you as a victim? Or engage others in an interesting manner?
4. Add Some Humor
Was Forrest fully aware of the humor in his million dollar wound Army story? … or was he simply repeating the story and genuinely naive about the money? Who cares? It’s funny.
Do you use humor to engage others in your stories?
5. Find the Silver Lining
“Now, the only good thing about being wounded in the buttocks is the ice cream.” Notice that Forrest says “the only good thing”. I’m guessing he means that getting shot in the butt pretty much stinks … there is not a long list of good things about being shot. But Forrest finds the one good thing and focuses on that … ice cream!
Do your stories focus on the one good thing, or do they focus on three or four things that stink?
Six lines of dialogue from a movie and five life lessons … not bad from a guy whose IQ is seventy-five. Forrest, that is … not me.
In my own life, I was fortunate to be raised in a family where the good things were mostly celebrated and the bad things were accepted … It Happens! So with that foundation, I’ve been fortunate in my life and career.
But it’s a constant temptation to want to complain when things don’t go the way I’ve planned. And it’s tempting to complain about the little things that go wrong even when the big picture turns out okay.
In case you couldn’t tell, this was written as a reminder for myself. Thanks, Forrest, for reminding me of what is possible when we accept without complaining.
Why do we like to complain so much?
Does your complaining really help or keep you simmering in your stew?
Are you capable of fully accepting without complaint?
Next Blog Title: Make Your Own Luck!
Next Blog Date: April 14, 2011